Self Care for Caregiver

Caregiver can mean so many different things. Some jobs involve caregiving and some of those job really don’t come with the proper support or training. If you are a doctor or a nurse for example taking care of yourself is not always the priority in school however we all know life in the real world differs from the classroom. I am here to lay thing out for you no matter what kind of Caregiver you are. Specifically I started caregiving at a young age when I got my first dog that depended on me to feed it and take it outside. But more recently I started caregiving for family members with a disability and a palliative father who has passed in 2012.

It can be draining giving your energy away to help others. It’s important to take ME TIME but do you really know what it means or how much to take. There are different aspects of our self that need to be addressed. Some Self Care or ME TIME can be for either physical, emotion or mental reason or any mix of the three or all three. Let’s look at what it might look like for each one.

Physical Self Care

Our biological body works best when taken care of properly. To be at our optimal performance ability we must take care of our basic physical needs at best. You are what you eat so eating a healthy diet with minimal sugar intake. Everyone body has slightly different intake requirements so here you are your own walking chemistry experiment.

I always knew sleep is important. Becoming a caregiver gave me an inside look at how drastically sleep could impact your daily life. We all function at the level we do today and got there slowly over time. However I got an up close look at how sleep directly affects someone ability to function at all, little lone functioning at optimally level. There are tips and tricks to improve your sleep I will cover at a later time.

Move it or loss it! How you ever heard that expression before? Our bodies require movement also know as exercise. Exercise can be understood by some people that we must go to the gym and workout routinely. Exercise can also mean just going for a walk or stretching. You can choose to stretch at any time of the day often or set a schedule and call it yoga practice.

Now that we got diet, sleep and exercise covered we can’t forget the importance of bathing. Daily grooming can mean something different for everyone. Some people will wash their hair everyday while others will wash their hair once a week. You become your own biological experiment in this regard also. Things like brushing your teeth once, twice or three times a day including flossing and mouth wash is all up to you. All you really need to do it be self aware daily how it effects you.

Emotional Self Care

Self care emotionally can be learned. Our biological bodies do get into a cycle emotionally on a subconscious level. Help is often needed to break any negative emotional habits that you experience today. Asking for help is a great way to start. If your friend is also in a negative emotional place and it seems you often get into bitch sessions or drum up drama when together than it’s time to go to plan B.

Search out support groups. Build a support system using your family, friends and the community. If you are caregiving for someone with a disability you can almost usually find a support group online or in the larger communities specifically for the disability the person you are caregiving for has. This gives you a opportunity to feel less alone. Be careful not to get sucked into a bad place.

Do something that makes you feel good. Things you like doing, things that bring joy to your life. I know first hand that being a caregiver you can become so involved with others you forget about the things that make you smile. If that is where you are at today then start small. Find the joy in your heart in the little things you do like becoming self aware that a change is needed.

Mental Self Care

Balancing your obligations may mean building a routine or scheduling specifics in your life. Identify priorities in your life and build into a daily routine self care. Life used to be more filled with hustle and bustle it seems before COVID slowed life down for some of us. Now is the time to write out a list of your priorities and commit yourself to self care.

Controlling your mood will lower your mental chaos and falls under self care. Now it is true that your mood can be influenced by your emotions and vice versa. Learning how to starts with a commitment to yourself and finding a mentor or coach to help you master yourself. Ever time you catch yourself in a mood that is negative is a win for you. Training your brain to over come what has already been programmed in your brain take time. Celebrate the small wins and make the change in your mood when you think about it.

Limiting stress is one more way to practice self care. This doesn’t mean quitting your job but it does mean identifying the unnecessary stresses at work and avoid the drama queens in the workplace. If you know that crowds are stressful for you then avoid shopping during the busy times.

Lastly disengage with negative people which doesn’t necessarily mean end relationships. Freeing yourself from negativity can be difficult when caregiving for someone with a disability, especially if that disability can increase negativity in the person. You hear people all the time tell you to cut others out of your life. I don’t believe that is a forward thinking solution. Learning to master yourself and limit the interaction (limiting your stress at home) can be difficult and often requires outside support.

Let’s look at some examples.

Now that we know what self care entails lets look at the How To. You want to ensure that this self care doesn’t add to your stress, that would only be counter intuitive. So start off small and celebrate your wins. Specifically I mean that when you are self aware that you are sticking to your self care plan no matter how big or how small the action is, you should FEEL the love for yourself.

Something as easy as having a coffee can be considered self care. Having that coffee while driving to work may not be consider self care. The self care is when you are craving out time for yourself. Being aware of the purpose of just sitting for 20 minutes to drink a cup of coffee (self care) can help alleviate guilt of doing nothing for the 20 minutes but sitting. At first these small things may want to trigger feelings of shame or guilt but with the right mentor and proper training you will be trigger with feeling of love and abundance.

You should get a pen and paper or open up your notes in whatever electronic device you use and start building your own self care list. Remember anything that triggers higher vibration feeling for you can be considers self care. You should feel joy and happiness while practicing self care, however this may not be the case when first starting. Categorizing your self care practices can help long term in getting yourself into the grove.

Look at things that take 5 minutes, 15 minutes, half an hour, an hour or even a day. It might look something like this.

5 minutes

 + set daily goals

+ stretch

+ set intentions

+ bullet journal

+ health snack

15- 30 minutes

+ call a friend

+ watch TED talk or other social media

+ exercise

+ connect with the earth

More than a hour

+ read a book

+ movie time

+ lunch with someone

+ bubble bath

+ get away hotel stay

I read somewhere, “When writing the story of YOUR LIFE don’t let anyone else hold the pen!” I hope you get what I’m trying to say here. Start a list of things you enjoy because often when first starting out some caregivers are lost trying to find themselves. Ask yourself, what makes you laugh? What brings a smile to your face? What warms your heart? What opens your heart? What makes you happy? What are you passionate about? What is something that you always dreamed of but never got around to?

Looking for a mentor or accountability buddy? Reach out, maybe I can help you connect.

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